Not sure how to put this, exactly. Over a ten-day period, Pam’s shed four pounds and I’ve shed six.

Nothing more than some rather simple diet changes. I didn’t expect it. Here are some random thoughts so far.

Lots more vegetables and beans so I fart more, longer and louder. Excretia emits a slightly different odor, shifted towards vegetables. The first week or so was hardest as I learned to prepare stuff different from our normal fare. Egg whites are ugly as sin in the pan at first (kind of like lancing a boil) but soon become more palatable (which lancing a boil never does). Baby carrots actually DO make a nice snack, and have a very satisfying crunch. I run the dishwasher more often, which is probably because I spend about 50% more time in the kitchen either preparing of cleaning up from meals. You really DO eat less, but more often in order to avoid feeling hungry. The weirdest ‘trick’? The juice of a lemon, drank just before dinner. They told me it’d have the effect of lowering the glycemic index of foods eaten afterward. I dunno, but it seems to do me good.

The first few days I felt hungry, but no more. I attribute that to just getting used to it. I feel pretty good. Plenty of energy at the gym, sleep good, all that. So far, so good.

More as we progress.

Pam and me started using a local gym a few years back, after about a 17-year hiatus. (All I’m going to say about that is if you think you’re going to have any free time after having kids, well, you can just bury that notion in the backyard. Along with your wallet. Ahem.) So, when we restarted we were rusty, sure, but knew what we were doing.

Frustrating, hard work, it was. When you’re only lifting maybe ten percent of what you remember and, still, it kills you… well, it takes some perseverance to keep going. Along the way we met with some personal trainers. We use one of those cheap gyms new-style back-to-basics facilities where the trainers are on contract, actively promoting themselves to potential clients. When you come away from one of those meetings and they say something to the effect of “just keep doing what you’re doing, I really can’t help you too much” it sort of validates you.

Fast-forward to today. I’m in much better shape today than when we (re)started. A lot stronger, too. I’ve put on a few pounds in the right places, lost a few in others. But it’s definitely not the same as when I was younger.

So the next thing is diet modification. All this time I’ve just eaten whatever I feel like whenever I feel like it. No fast food – I gave that up years ago following a bad experience with a chicken sandwich – but plenty of processed stuff. Whatever presents itself. I should add that I’m not – and neither is Pam – one of those people motivated by food, whose lives revolve around their meals. I mean, sometimes when we’re busy we actually forget to eat. It gets to the end of the day, maybe two in the morning, and we look at each other, “we should eat something.” We just hadn’t gotten around to it all day long. Which might lead us to a couple of frozen pizzas washed down with beers.

Not the best diet in the world, like I said.

So now we’re taking a stab at doing better. We’ll see if it lets us take this thing to the next level. Can’t hurt. Firstly, cutting the carbs and fat and adding a conscious effort toward more vegetables.

It’s a doubly tough endeavor because the kid won’t eat this stuff. His preferred fare? Bacon. Pastrami. Pizza. Burgers. Chips. Candy. That is, when he eats at all. Otherwise it’s soda by the gallon. Skinny as a rail he is. “My meat needs to kill me,” he says. Ah, youth.

My breakfast today was egg whites and mixed vegetables. Plus a few baby carrots and a spit of orange juice. Oh, and coffee. I drink at least a pot a day of the brew, black, and I don’t care you’re not getting me away from that. Spent the whole morning farting up a storm. (Be glad you’re not here.)

It’s been said that anything you can do for a month can become a habit and I can tell you from experience that it’s true. You can modify anything you care to – if you’ve got the will to do it. I’ll let you know how we progress.