I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning up lately. “Streamlining,” we’re calling it.
I found this on some backup media in a backwater directory with a bunch of other rather unrelated files. I remember the piece but, unfortunately, I haven’t got the faintest clue as to the source. Made me chuckle. Again.
Enjoy.
In each pair of socks, one is male and one is female. Heat (such as the heat of a dryer) sets off the reproductive cycle. In the dryer the socks have sex by rubbing along each other as they are tossed around. The female, once impregnated, sneaks off to give birth, alone, while the male stays behind. The female sock gives birth to a litter of baby metal coat hangers, which promptly consume their mother, leaving behind very little. This detritus is eventually caught by the filter in the dryer, and become what is known as lint. The baby coat hangers, looking for cool, dark places, make their way to your closets, which is why there are always more hangers than the last time you looked. [Note: they are attracted to others of their kind, so that a totally empty closet will usually stay that way, while a closet with a large number of hangers will have the greatest number of new hangers.] Eventually, the hangers turn into moths, which eat your clothes [after all, they have to get the fabric for the socks from *somewhere*]. Having gorged themselves, they descend to the bottom of the closet and extrude a hard outer layer. In this stage they are known as ‘mothballs’ [now you know why!]. Once they have fully developed, they eat through their casing and stand revealed as fully adult socks! To complete the cycle, they go out in search of a mate. The most common place they find their mates is at the bottom of a pile of dirty laundry, a place that is infamous for being a haven for unwashed, single socks. If you don’t believe me, go check.
