This particular message was dated 12 January 1998, sent from my personal email address to an address within the company I worked for at the time. It was funny then, it must still be funny now. The “don’t be evil” company hadn’t yet been invented; Larry and Sergey had already come up with the Google name but hadn’t yet received their first cash infusion or even formally formed their little company. (ref. Google history)

Satanic Risks?
“Lindsay F. Marshall”
Mon, 15 Dec 1997 11:33:31 +0000 (GMT)

In the *Letters* page of this month’s *Fortean Times* (FT106, January 1998)
there is a letter entitled Brotherly Communications, raising the privacy
risks of mandating GPS in every mobile phone — which it claims will be the
case in the USA in 1999. However, the letter then goes on to say the
following:

> Much of the data concerning mobile phone paranoia (or the enhanced 911
> service) comes from the publications of Lucent — also known as Bell
> Laboratories — AT&T and Sandia National Laboratories.

> Lucent seems an odd sort of name — Luc(iferic) Ent(erprises) as people on
> a witch hunt might suggest — but when it comes to software they have a
> real-time operating system called Inferno, written in a language called
> Limbo, with a communications protocol called Styx. Reading the product
> literature is less like engineering and more like indoctrination. The head
> offices are at 666 5th Avenue in New York. The company motif is a fiery
> red circle that might represent a bull’s eye, the star Aldebaran in the
> constellation Taurus — also associated with the Egyptian god Set …

> Lucent has been doing a lot of recruiting recently — their headline
> product is something called Airloop(tm) which looks like a cellular phone
> microcell incorporating voice and data. It is controlled by a little box
> that I expect we’ll be seeing everywhere, called the BSD2000 (Lucent seem
> to have a millennial flavour in their product numbers).

Lucent is, of course, at http://www.lucent.com, and the *Fortean Times* is at

http://www.forteantimes.com.

A while back I ran into some Mexican Coca-Cola at the local Costco and just had to have some. You see, it’s made with real can sugar as opposed to the high fructose corn syrup crap they put in seemingly everything these days.

Why do they do that, anyway? Take a perfectly good ingredient and substitute junk for it. Cost, I guess.

Truth be told I only drank a couple out of the case. I’m not a big soda drinker. But the ones I had were just incredible, the taste immediately transporting me back to my childhood. The stuff even smells different.

Notice on the bottle, under the logo, the capacity is shown. On the other side of the bottle the logo is just plain, unlike bottles sold here. Also, the added label. Flat, stuck imperfectly to the rounded surface with adhesive, showing the ingredients and such, mandatory for all food products. Placement of those labels was inconsistent, which suggests that they may have been hand-applied some time after the fact.

In my experience it’s hard to get decent, sugar-laden soda today. A few brands pride themselves on it. Jones comes to mind. And a couple of times a year I have Old Doc’s Soda Shop ship me a few cases of Dublin Dr. Pepper. The independent Dublin Dr. Pepper plant continues to make the stuff the way it was made back in the beginning, while the other bottlers have ‘modernized’ and stopped using real sugar. If you can manage it, try a Dublin and a regular one side by side. The difference is unmistakable.

Five million bytes at the newly-lowered price of $3750. That’s thirty seven hundred and fifty dollars, not a typo.

Ad from Corvus Systems circa 1981: a 5 MB hard disk for the newly reduced price of $3750.00. (click to enlarge)

Just last week I was in an email discussion with a friend and he lamented the “good old days.” I’m not so sure that the old days were all that good. Did you have four large burning a hole in your pocket for storage back in 1981? I sure didn’t.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was in Wildwood, NJ, enjoying some downtime with the family. Wildwood has a seriously long boardwalk, a couple of miles, and we like to walk it when we’re in town.

We were walking the boardwalk when the news hit. Before we reached the end you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting someone hawking t-shirts featuring the news.

Marketing. It’s an amazing beast.

And all you heard about for an unbelievably long time was Michael Jackson. Could have been a nuclear war and you wouldn’t have heard about that, the way everyone went on and on about the dead pop star. Shit, I think they’re still arguing about whatever’s left of his assets.

I take you back to January 1985. Volume 1, Number 1, Issue 1 of NutWorks, “The Inter-Net Virtual Magazine for Those Who Teeter on the Precipice of Insanity”.

Boot It

You’re processing some words when your keyboard goes dead,
Ten pages in the buffer, should have gone to bed,
The system just crashed, but don’t lose your head,
Just BOOT IT, just BOOT IT.

Better think fast, better do what you can,
Read the manual or call your system man,
Don’t want to fall behind in the race with Japan,
So BOOT IT,

Get the system manager to
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Even though you’d rather shoot it.
Don’t be upset, it’s only some glitch.
All that you do is flip a little switch.
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Get right down and restitute it.
Don’t get excited, all is not lost.
CP/M, UNIX or MS/DOS
Just BOOT IT, boot it, boot it, boot it…

You gotta have your printout for the meeting at two,
The system says your jobs at the head of the queue,
Right then the thing dies but you know what to do,
BOOT IT.

You always get so worried when the system runs slow,
And when it finally crashes, man you feel so low,
But computers make mistakes (they’re only human you know)
So BOOT IT,

Call the local guru to
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Go ahead re-institute it.
If you’re not lucky, get the book off the shelf,
But if you are, it’ll do it itself.
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Then go find the guy who screwed it!
Operating systems are built to bounce back,
Whether it’s a Cray or a Radio Shack.

BOOT IT! BOOT IT!

So, okay, maybe it ain’t the best song parody you’ve ever seen. But NutWorks – and other virtual publications of the day – are certainly the early Internet ancestors that gave rise to the countless time-sucks you find on the Web today.

Like this blog. Now get back to work.

Opportunity recently presented itself!

My son is on the high school robotics team. 2010 was a pretty good year for FRC Team 25 (Raider Robotix) and the team was honored by the Board of Education at their public meeting last week. The BofE administration building is a repurposed school building – the very building where I attended kindergarten through 3rd grade.

The first shot was taken in the spring of 1963, making me a 2nd grader. It had to be morning, before the start of the school day – the long shadows (I’m squinting into the sun) and everyone’s headed toward the entrance not visible around the corner. What do you think of the collared shirt? The corduroy pants? And how ’bout that sweater? Those really aren’t saggy mini-man-boobs; I was a skinny little twerp and nothing ever fit me right. Yeah, Mom really did make me dress that way. The white thing by my left hand could be a bandage on my thumb but I can’t recall.

The second shot was taken May 19, 2010, some 47 years later. The stone/gravel covered playground (a serious no-no these days, so unsafe for the kiddies) is a parking lot, now some 4 inches higher to the building and contributing to run-off and local flooding. You can’t see the area in the earlier shot, but the steel stairs (as well as the door they lead to) are add-ons, as is the electrical conduits and lighting fixtures atop the building. See the lower roof visible on the right of the shot? The ability to kick one of those ubiquitous red inflatable balls onto the rooftop was a right of passage that would get you props from your peers back in 1963 – and a reprimand from an adult. I’ve been shaving the noggin for about 13 years now, and I’m wearing my customary Levi 501s, heavy silver rings and a wallet chained to my belt. That’s not my cracker box car behind me; the tail light of my Ford truck’s partly visible on the right.

The third shot… self explanatory. I wanted to see the faces side by side. And now I understand the look on my face there as a youngster: I wasn’t squinting – I had a flash of future insight and read this post! The tiny voice calls across the ages, “Don’t do it!!!” Too late.

Cards from the mid-60s

I found these finely preserved specimens as I went through some old documentation in my Dad’s house. They were with the warranty papers from a gas range installed as part of a kitchen remodel in the mid-60s.

The range had a pair of small vents over the pilot jets. The tiny chrome covers stood out from the enameled surface like perfect jewels, just begging to be touched, irresistible. As a kid I’d sometimes briefly touch one, just because, even though I knew better.

When I was clearing out Dad’s house I smiled as I briefly touched the no-longer-perfect metal. I still knew better and it was still hotter than hell and the result was quite predictable.

Not long after, I had the gas service to the property shut off.

You see, TECO was the editor for which Richard Stallman created a macro package called Emacs (for Editor MACroS). A flavor of Emacs is usually the first program I launch and the last to quit. It’s been that way since the mid eighties, which is around when it became very useful to me to be able to edit text on a variety of different platforms. For Emacs has been ported to just about every computing platform there is. As a matter of fact, I’m writing this piece in an Emacs buffer right now! (Before you ask, the implementation I use these days is from Lugaru Software, LTD. Theirs is a commercial product, but go visit them for a fully capable free trial.)

But I digress – go read The Beginnings of TECO for a fascinating glimpse into the past, when things were more… well, interesting… in some ways than they are today.

[...] TECO was nothing if not terse. Fairly complex loops and other command sequences could be written in TECO, and mostly looked like line noise. TECO was one of the first languages to spawn the practice of handing someone a one-line string of near gibberish and asking with a grin, “tell me what it does.”

Added 27-April-2010:

Here’s a TECO program that calculates pi.

+0UN QN"E 20UN ' BUH BUV HK
QN< J BUQ QN*10/3UI
QI< \+2*10+(QQ*QI)UA B L K QI*2-1UJ QA/QJUQ
QA-(QQ*QJ)-2\ 10@I// -1%I >
QQ/10UT QH+QT+48UW QW-58"E 48UW %V ' QV"N QV^T ' QWUV QQ-(QT*10)UH >
QV^T @^A/
/

Now, that’s some terse stuff right there! Thanks to the folks who run the Panda TOPS-20 Home Page.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090830/D9ADCOL00.html

Here’s what the ARPANET looked like in 1982.

Kinda different today. Say, I’m a little curious. Does anyone remember the pain of using bangist-style email addresses in the ancient, pre-DNS days? Stuff that looked like this:

fishpond!mcdphx!asuvax!cs.utexas.edu!usc!apple!portal!cup.portal.com!plav

Yeah, that’s actually an email address. It used to reach me, in fact – well, from some networks, anyway. Getting it all to work together used to be really, really hard work!

I couldn’t believe some of the stuff that I was finding. Some materials were from machines that haven’t been around in any form for decades! That’s about twenty minutes less than forever, in terms of technology. Much went into the shredder, and much more went into the recycling!

But there were some things that might make you smile if you’re a dinosaur like me. Or maybe they’re interesting to a historian. I haven’t got the foggiest, but they seemed too good to throw away. And honestly, these are just the tip of the iceberg; sometimes I feel like I live in a museum.

First up is a third edition copy of Getting the Most Out of the Internet, which was what Earthlink handed out to new subscribers. The think that caught my eye when I saw it was that it was authored by Sky Dayton himself.

Getting the Most Out of the Internet

Fascinating. But the next one is even better. There was a printed newsletter called Inside the Internet. I’m not sure when they started and stopped publishing the self-proclaimed ‘rocket science for the rest of us’. Nobody does things like this anymore, it’s far easier to simply publish on the Web. But this is January 1995 we’re talking about, and things were way different back then.

Inside the Internet

Notice the holes for storing issues in your binder – they’re stock, I didn’t put them there! There are articles about Gopher and Veronica. And a bit about TIA – remember that beast? With it you could run SLIP over your shell account, enabling you to run things like a graphical browser. I think I used it back around 1993 or so to run the some of the first non-console Internet apps seen within sacred walls of D&B, where I worked at the time. It goes without saying that this long predated D&B’s online presence, which was initally created by my friend Tom Thornbury. In fact, there wasn’t much commercial presence on the Internet back in those days at all, believe it or not! Finally, did you notice the price? $5.95 for a few pages? Hardly buys much more than a gallon of gas these days.

I hoped you liked that little trip down memory lane. Did you smile?