Disproving the Existence of Vampires Using YouTube

Imagine for a second that I’m standing in front of a Web cam and I stick two fingers into my nose. My fingers, of course, would deform my nostril because they’re much too large to fit. Not much audience potential there, hardly worth the bits to store the stream but follow along, okay?

Let’s say I’ve got a human friend weird enough to stick a couple of fingers in my nose in front of the Web cam. Again, there’s the deformed nostril thing. And while that provides a little bit more audience potential it’s still not enough to collect any significant page views.

Now let’s recruit a vampire instead. The vampire’s fingers would certainly deform a nostril just as well. But the Web cam wouldn’t show the vampire, only the nostril deforming. Cameras can’t capture the image of the vampire.

Imagine the invisible (to the Web cam) vampire deforming the human body in various ways. Go on, you can do it, let your imagination run wild. Oh! Even I didn’t think of that one!

You’ve got to admit, there should be plenty of those kinds of video clips on YouTube. But there aren’t.

Practically speaking, there can only be a few reasons for the absence. People are incredibly restrained in what they put up on YouTube. No vampires worth their fangs would stoop to making such silly videos. Google is run by vampires and they disallow such videos. There are no vampires.

I’m leaning toward the last one.

One thought on “Disproving the Existence of Vampires Using YouTube”

Go ahead and say it.